Can you feel the devil prying on your shoulders trying so hard to drag you down?

and then feeling powerless once he successfully makes you feel so bad? I really don't care if you believe me or not but I'd wish you to keep it to yourself. I have a mental illness. I have strong feelings that it has to do with the devil though as well. I can just feel it. I'll be fine and then I get that feeling of despair. I try so hard to fight it off and then he just catches me. I feel powerless since he gets his way with me all the time. I know its what he wants. I wish i could stop him though. I fear even thinking about him though, i fear he will cause terrifying things to happen if I mention his name.