Why is she acting this way?

Your confusion and pain is very much understood.Unfortunately,there is not much that anyone here can do for you in a tangible manner as the answer to all your questions has to come from this woman you love very much.It is quite possible that her attitude is the result of :1) The issues that she had with her ex which also forced her to get a restraining order 2) She still has deep feelings for her ex which she can not get rid of 3)She is still trying to deal with her feelings for you and trying to decide if they are real or not 4) You are a rebound love affair 5) She is concerned about how her children will fit into a relationship with you since you are four years younger than she is and if you can love and care for them 6)Where would a relationship with you lead and would it last. The above list may also include other issues within her ;however,the answer is still the same. You need to sit her down and have a serious and open conversation with her. While you may be afraid of asking some questions for fear of the answers which you might not like ,knowing where you stand with her will be better for you in the long run.I wish you all the best.